Remembering how to struggle

On the first day Steve said that we would be pushed out of our comfort zones, and that has certainly been the case for me. I've spent a long time as an "expert" in my field as a teaching consultant for the National Writing Project, working with teachers on the best practices for writing instruction. I've developed into a strong composition teacher and education leader, and I haven't had to struggle in a long time. I'm not saying I've become egotistical or have stopped trying, but I have become pretty comfortable with my skillset. I stopped seeking out the challenge.
That all changed on Monday. For the first time in a long time I have felt anxiety and stress, I have sweated through assignments that I couldn't "own", and I lacked the confidence that I normally have in writing. THIS IS AWESOME. This is where growth happens. I will be a better teacher for this, and I don't just mean in my journalism program. When I teach my Beginning Composition class this fall, I will be able to remember what it feels like to sweat and suffer through the anxiety of not being "good enough". I will know that look in a 14 year-old's eyes when panic sets in and she thinks what I'm asking of her is impossible. My students need me to understand their anxiety and struggle in order for me to reach them, so I appreciate this experience so much more.
I can't wait to put all of this knowledge into action next year... and I'm really looking forward to feeling confident in my journalism advising skills someday waaay down the road after I've worked my arse off for several years.
But I am determined. I will be good at this!
Thanks, SteveJ

Janice Johnson
Vista del Lago

Folsom, Calif.